What had happened was…

So, today’s post was going to be about something completely opposite of what it is now; Cause Holy Shit, I’m freaking out a little bit.

Just a little bit…! I swear I’m still staring at the computer screen like that. So, what had happened was, I was happily perusing fashionbombdaily.com (check it out, it’s great) when I stumbled upon this article

The Fashion Bomb News Breakdown: American Apparel Launches Plus-Sized Model Search, Here’s Rafael Nadal’s Ad Campaign For Armani, And Anna Wintour Is Not Intimidating

Lo and behold, this leads me to the American Apparel “Next Big Thing” Contest. It’s a contest! A contest for full-figured women-like me!

I want to enter. I don’t want to enter. I want to enter. I don’t want to enter. I click on the Enter Contest Here button. And do you know what it told me? I have to be modeling either one of AA’s panties, bodysuits, or briefs. ??? Damn, and I had already had my pictures picked out and everything… : (

So with me being El Cheapo, Queen of the Budgetistahs I slunk my ass off to my parents room to test the waters.

Me: So…I found this link for a contest… It’s for full-figured women.

Mum: Oh cool, that’s interesting.

Me: I don’t know.

Mum: Are you going to do it?

Me: I don’t know…. I like being behind the camera and all, not in front, y’know. And you have to be modelling one of their pieces.

Mum: So…?

Me: I don’t own any of their pieces, they’re too expensive.

Mum: (ever the pragmatist) Well, just go to the store and get one and return it when you’re done.

Me: Nearest store’s in Kansas City

Mum: Oh well, I guess you can’t do it then…

So I slink back to my room, knowing that my parents won’t think I was bat shit crazy for entering a modelling competition.

Now here’s the fun part. I get to thinking and I check my bank statement. Solid. So I hit up the AA store. I buy this.

But in their mauve, cream, and white version (it’ll be more versatile, I figure). It cost $28. Pretty economical for AA I reasoned.

I have till September 8 to put in my submission and garner a bajillion votes to make it to the top 10. Standard shipping might take up to 2 weeks. Do you know what I do next!? In a moment of shear blind adrenaline, I click the express shipping button. Overnight shipping for $20 please! What the hell!?! My $30 order just bloated to over $50 (because there’s a tax included too, of course). What the hell did I just do!???

So now, I’m sitting here tapping out a nervous beat with my fingers devising a plan. I am sooo going to win this contest (or at least be a finalist so I can get the $500 credit for AA and not feel like I wasted my money). This is not the first time I have entered a contest on a whim and a prayer. And the last time, out of nearly 3,000 submissions, we [Yadumu Jewelry] made it to the qualifying top 25 finalists! I can do this. This is like those crazy schemes you always see on those dumb teen dramas. Things tend to work out in the end.

I think I’ve got this. I know I’ve got this, because after all truth is stranger than fiction, so that at least should give me a fighting chance.


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